Top 11 Ways To Say You Have To Poop

In the midst of  writing a post about why coffee makes you poop I kept coming across these lyrical gems.  There is even a website where you can enter your birthday and it will give you your poop stats (paper used, total flushes etc.).  With the list below, you will never again have to diminish the mystical and almost magical process of turning food into energy.  Some are direct while others are more illusive.  Enjoy.


#1 For the computer nerd: I’m off to download a brownload.



#2 For the cultured: I’ve got tickets to the bean ballet and the curtain is about to go up.Bowel Movement.3

#3 For the moms: I’m crowning.



#4 For the gardener: Pardon me while I go honk out a dirt snake.DS in grass WEB


#5 For the BRO: Bro,  i’m playing peek-a-boo with a brown turtle right now and it’s about time I find him.honk_if_you_love_turtles

#6 For the dog trainer: Shoot a dook.68fdff2e43bacbb5bb54e4ebb77e893b-dog-ruins-romantic-picture


#7 For the adventurer: I must release the chocolate hostages.



#8 For the baker: Now I gotta a go choke a brownie.



#9 For the announcer: IT’S CHOCOLATE TIME!




#10 For the designer: I’m Touching Cloth.



#11 For the environmentalist:  Release a chocolate shark into the wild.



So there you have it.  The top 11 ways to vocalize your need to, your urge to, your right to rock a poop.  Having trouble……DRINK STRONG COFFEE.




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